Maybe this post is a TMI. But I need to break up all my reviews with some good news.

I mentioned a couple days ago I applied for work. I have been applying for a second job forever, but mostly online and remote work, for which I would be ghosted, or get to the testing part of the job and not hear anything, or get rejected. I’ve been doing this for about two years or so now, since the area in which I live doesn’t really have work except for nurses, CDL drivers, etc.

I got really desperate and went directly to a local grocery store chain’s website, and saw that they were hiring. Why a grocery store? It’s retail, which is the only other type of job I’ve done besides teaching, and I thought it would be better than the retail I’ve done in the past, because there are so many different departments in a grocery store to work.

I got hired as a cashier because my interviewer said I was pretty friendly, and they had a desperate need for cashiers. Because I haven’t worked with a cash register in twelve years, I’m a little nervous. That, and I’ve always sucked at bagging my own food (I’m usually awkward about it). Cashiers are expected to be fast. So I’m a bit anxious about it.

Retail has always been a high-stress job for me and I have major anxiety issues where if things got tricky, I’d vomit. However, I can’t quit this job even if it ends up stressing me out. This is because:

• Adjuncting doesn’t pay for the hours you work, only the contact hours of the class (so you’re paid like 3 hours per class), so it amounts to low pay
• I can’t afford to do more book promotion because The Name and the Key wiped me out with the art commission, and I want to be able to do art for The Step and the Walk and The Fear and the Flame
• More importantly, if I want to do anything, including not relying on my mother’s good will, I need money so I can pay for things myself
• Starting in January there is a work requirement for Medicaid, and I have to work 20 hours a week minimum. I can’t really prove that with adjuncting, plus, there’s always a chance I won’t get classes at the last minute due to low enrollment, so I need something stable. I also never get summer classes, so if summer rolls around and I can’t teach, I’d lose my Medicaid without this grocery job

I am not super religious but I do pray all the time, and I’ve been praying, now that I have this job, that I’m mentally stable enough to do it (no stress vomiting). Grocery stores are fast-paced and I’m at an especially high-volume one. I’ll be working 20-25 hours a week and starting really soon. Like, next week.

What does this mean for my work-life balance? Since I’ll be doing two jobs, my only concern is finding the time and energy to write The Fear and the Flame. I have officially started chapter one, but I’m going to use this week to try to write a lot before I dive into the cashier job.

It might be a situation where I have to sit down and map out my work hours along with my writing hours. I usually bristle at tight schedules but if that’s what it comes down to, I’ll do it.

I hope I can do this job well. Please wish me luck!