With every book, it’s bound to happen sooner or later: a bad review. Son of the Siren had a good deal of them, especially in the beginning stages when the book first came out: lots of 2 and 3 stars. Those hurt a lot because it was my first book, and a lot of the reviews completely missed the point of the book. But luckily, the good reviews outnumbered the bad.

It was only a matter of time before The Name and the Key would get a bad review, too. I knew it was inevitable, but somehow it still took me by surprise. The review was very detailed and the reviewer wrote it with a lot of care, so really, as far as bad reviews go, it’s a good one, but there were some ouch moments as I read it anyway.

I’ve been told time and time again that if I don’t want to get hurt, to not read my reviews.

This is good advice that I can’t help but ignore. One of my character weaknesses is seeking validation, which good reviews give me…and if you’re looking for your good reviews, you’re going to see the bad ones, too. So I can understand why people tell me just to avoid all of them, but it’s really, really hard for me to.

I was looking up some self-help articles about this particular problem of mine, and had to skip through a lot of the “don’t read the reviews!” posts before I landed on this one by LitReactor. It acknowledges what I think is a reality for most writers. I love Peter Derk’s introduction:

Yeah, I know, you’re not supposed to read reviews of your own book.

You know what else you’re not supposed to do? Eat pizza until you fall asleep on the floor because the pepperoni bloat makes the trip to the bed impossible.

You’re not supposed to ride motorcycles in flip-flops.

Turns out, you’re not really supposed to drink booze. Like, at all!

There’s a huge list of stuff you’re not supposed to do that you’re going to do anyway, so instead of telling you not to read reviews, let’s assume you’re going to do it, and let’s talk about how you can make it slightly less horrible.

While I didn’t find too much advice in the article that I felt could apply to me, I thought it was a fun article to commiserate over.

So, I found one that I connected with a little bit better: “8 Tips for Dealing with Negative Reviews of Your Book” by K.M. Weiland. She gives you six reasons as to why reviews may bother you:

1. The Reviewer is Making Good Points
2. The Reviewer Misunderstood the Book/Missed the Point Entirely
3. The Reviewer was Cruel
4. The Reviewer Made You Doubt Your Ability
5. The Reviewer Called Into Question Your Intentions
6. The Reviewer is (Perhaps) Endangering Future Book Sales

If I look at the first negative review I got for The Name and the Key, I can conclude that the reviewer did make some good points in their review, misunderstood some of the book, and made me doubt my ability as a writer. Luckily none of the other things happened–the reviewer was quite respectful, in my opinion.

It did occur to me that this type of reader would never be the right reader for my books, though. There was a lot of the book that didn’t work for them, plus, I looked at their favorite/top-rated books to see what kind of books they did like, and found a lot of books on their list that I dislike. So, it’s a clear difference of tastes between us. I’m not actually a bad writer even thought their review made me feel like I was; we’re just not the right writer/reader for each other. And that makes me feel less upset and more like this is just a regular thing that naturally happens (because it is).

I’ve been really lucky that for the most part, The Name and the Key has been garnering positive reviews, and to not let the negative one (there will be more) bother me so much. I’m a work in progress, but hopefully I can keep working on building a thicker skin or at least find a better way to cope with the negatives.

This is a hard part of being a writer–we face rejection all the time. Rejections from agents, from publishers, and from readers of our work. This is a profession where things may be harder for you if you take it personally. I speak from experience. But I hope that the more I write, the more I improve, and the more I connect with the right readers at the right time.