I had some panic moments and some realizations.

It was only a little bit ago that I wrote the post “feeling the heat.” I talked about the pressure I felt under to write daily for The Name and the Key, and my goal to finish it by the end of this month so I could pass it on to beta readers.

Then I got bombarded with school work, which sucked time away from writing. I literally could not bring myself to write while creating PowerPoints for class or grading nearly 50 essays. Yesterday I graded for about 6.5 hours and still didn’t finish one class’s assignments, let alone touch the second class’s.

The very thing I was afraid of happening has happened: I cannot seem to balance school work (aka my job) with my writing (technically my other job, though I don’t see a payout for a really long time). And here are the problems I’m currently dealing with:

Writing too fast

The Name and the Key is a rewrite of my graduate thesis of the same name. While I consulted the thesis for the opening chapters, the rest of the rewrite has been either completely from memory (in terms of major plot points) or right off the top of my head.

Things have moved much faster plot-wise. I am on page 172 of the new version. The events occurring in the book at this time happened on page 266 of the thesis, which was about fifteen pages or so from the end of the entire book. This means I’ve essentially cut 94 pages from my manuscript transitioning from thesis to rewritten novel.

I don’t think I have another 94 pages in me!! And my original word count goal of 80,000 words seems so far away when I’m only at a little over 48,000 words. That means, in order to make my goal, I need to write 32,000 more words. I don’t think I have that in me either, given the amount of major plot points I’ve already hit!

I have three major plot points left to write. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.

Writing too slow

This one is my fault. I spend too much time writing based on my mood or levels of exhaustion, meaning I’ve wasted valuable time by not writing at all. I took a long break from June until September, when I was completely brain dead and didn’t even want to look at my manuscript. If I had pushed through my barriers and written no matter what, the book would definitely be finished by now.

Instead, I’ve had to shamefully ask for an extension. There’s no way I can write 32,000 words before the month is over, and I cannot turn a rough draft in to my publisher and count it as the final. My publisher granted me one more month at my request, so that means I have to finish the rough draft by November 1st to give to beta readers, who will likely take one month to read, and then use December 1st to 26th to rewrite the book per their notes. It’s cutting it close, but it’s better than what I have now.

When it comes to the actual process of writing, I’m a thinker. Or maybe I should say, ponderer. I do a lot of contemplation and playing out of scenes in my mind as I write, and this slows things down. I also stop in the middle of writing to research something as it pops up. Luckily I haven’t gotten sucked down the rabbit hole while doing this, but an interruption is an interruption. Lastly, I sometimes check social media while writing because I like to make a brief post here and there sharing my word count or bemoaning my lack of self-discipline. This is not the right thing to do.

Writing too little

This kind of ties back to the “writing too fast” section. Because I’m at the point in thesis where the book is coming to an end, you’d think my new manuscript would be in the same place. Again, there’s a 94-page difference between both works. While the thesis is at the end, I’m barely over the halfway point in the rewritten version.

The thing is, with only major plot points left to hit, I don’t think I’m going to make 80,000 words.

I emailed my editor in a panic and asked her, “What’s the lowest word count I can get away with?” I was told 50,000 but asked what I think my estimated final count would be. I suggested 60,000-70,000 words. I don’t know if this is accurate, but this might very well be the range for it. Anyway, she assured me that this would be ok, and to keep on writing.

I have a feeling the final product will be less than 300 pages. I don’t know if readers will be happy with that or not.

Final thoughts

Technically it’s still too soon to see where The Name and the Key will end up as a finished rough draft. But people are depending on me to finish in a timely fashion–my publisher, my beta readers–and I think it’s reasonable to say I owe them that.

I want The Name and the Key to be a great book, though, and to be more successful than my debut. I’m worried by rushing through the plot and cutting 94 pages that I’ll be missing something, and the beta readers will probably be the ones to catch it.

Writing is a lot of work. I think writing for publication is even more work. It’s constantly on my mind, and I need to calm down. But it certainly feels good to vent, so thank you for reading!