This quote, often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt, has been sitting with me lately. I suffer from comparing my success to other writers, thinking my trajectory should be similar to theirs. I don’t compare myself to famous authors, because I know their success is in the stratosphere, but I do find myself following lots of indie authors on social media who openly share their wins, anything from sales data to KENP numbers to reviews to ARC signups. And when my journey doesn’t match theirs, I think I’m a failure.

This is not healthy or productive. My writing career started in 2024 and I’ve experienced so many wins since then…but because they aren’t the same wins that other writers have experienced, they don’t seem to register in my brain. This is really unfortunate because I’m devaluing myself and my work, and I shouldn’t. I’m a genuinely good writer and I need to remember that.

It’s been pointed out to me by people I respect that my expectations of success are really high. I don’t mean for it to be this way. I thought because I knew my debut wouldn’t allow me to quit my job and work full time, that that was a realistic enough view of my potential success. But when I let my success be defined by other authors,’ the joy I’ve experienced with writing and publishing fades away. Truly, comparing myself to other people is “the thief of joy”–because instead of being invigorated by other writers, I find myself being depressed because our journeys aren’t the same.

Reality check: No journey is the same.

Our books, our voices, our style, our stories–these aren’t the same, either.

I’m going to try to do a brain reset and recalibrate. This is going to be difficult for me because I’ve compared myself to other writers and artists my whole life. But as long as I keep comparing my success to others, I’m going to keep blaming myself for not doing things “the right way” — i.e., how they did it. Which is so, so stupid. If I let things get out of control with it–which I’ve done before–I devalue myself and my work, and forget my own successes.

I hope, as I continue to write and promote and publish, that I will become more mature and professional in my attitude, and stop letting the thief steal my joy.