I have no time. Seriously, I don’t. I have tons of grading to do, am teaching three courses (although one of them is temporary), I’m behind on The Step and the Walk, and I’m behind on reviews.

And then, going on into its seventh day, is a funk I haven’t felt in a while. I feel really, really down (yay having a mood disorder). I think it’s because of all the stress I am under, plus a lack of a sense of accomplishment since I haven’t completed things in a while.

Then I started sewing. I mentioned in this post that the summer of 2025 I decided I wanted to cosplay Qi Rong from Heaven Official’s Blessing (the donghua, not the novel or manhua). He’s a despicable, over-the-top character and I don’t really like him–although sometimes he’s funny. Rather, I chose him because I never see him cosplayed, and he has a really unique style. Compared to Hua Cheng, who I someday really want to cosplay, his costuming seems much easier for me to make.

So back over the summer, I took the last of my work paychecks (I was jobless during that time because I couldn’t find classes to teach) and spent them on accruing materials for the cosplay–and I lucked out because a lot of my products came from overseas and I knocked them all out before the tariffs hit, including the hanfu I’m using for Qi Rong.

Then I sat on all the costume pieces. I bought everything from the robes down to the wig to the fingernails and eyeliner. I wanted to wear it to Matsuricon 2025 but never made the costume in time because the world around me just stopped, and depression kicked in.

I’m depressed now. But I’ve scanned my bedroom too many times, seeing the sewing materials stacked neatly in the corner of my room, and I thought I couldn’t let another year pass without doing something.

Sewing has always grounded me. I hand sew (machines freak me out and I’ve never quite gelled with them), and the repetitive action (that still requires a lot of concentration) tends to help distract me from the outside world and my feelings.

Because I’m so blue, and even though I don’t have time to be, I looked at all my materials, and sat down and started sewing.

As you can see, the hanfu is already trimmed in a satiny light green color…I’m taking the rainbow ribbon (which is actually a brown color with transparent rainbow shades over it, to mute the colors) and sewing right over the green. The rainbow ribbon is pretty wide, so I can’t decide if I should, once sewn in, fold the part sticking out over on the other side and reinforce the sewing again…or just leave it hanging out. I guess it all depends on how it looks when I wear it.

I am not making an exact replica of this costume…

I’ve always put my own spin on characters when I’ve cosplayed them. Perhaps the only true-to-the-character cosplay I’ve ever done is Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist, and that was commissioned by an artist on Etsy who unfortunately removed her business from the site. That was an insanely accurate cosplay–I even had the homunculus tattoo!

My Edmond Dantes costume from The Count of Monte Cristo (Gankutsuou) was gender-swapped, so I had a ballroom skirt and a more feminine look to it. My cosplay of Yuuko from XxxHolic was an old kimono I owned plus some Victorian accessories I wore–not any sort of replica costume, but all vibes from the anime. My Jack Sparrow costume was also an assembled mish-mash of costume pieces that didn’t exactly duplicate the film costume, but was still completely recognizable as the character. This is what I plan on doing with Qi Rong.

One of the major things I’m doing is wearing pants with the Qi Rong costume. I can’t find an underskirt like the one Qi Rong is wearing, and to be honest, with the size that I am, dresses and skirts hug my large stomach and it looks really unflattering. So, I’m keeping the outer robe, the inner top that kind of looks like a short bathrobe, and then wearing black pants for my comfort and ease of movement. I figure the rest of the costume will look totally in line enough with the character that people will recognize who I am if they are Heaven Official’s Blessing fans.

Anyway, I don’t know how often I’m going to sew. If I want to cosplay for Matsuricon 2026 (and be a panelist), I’ve got to finish the costume by September (and hopefully I’ll be thinner by then). If I only sew every now and then due to my other responsibilities, I figure this will take me forever.

But…I don’t want to feel unhappy like this. Sewing gives me a sense of accomplishment whenever I do something like finish a sleeve or add an embellishment. It’s a small mission, but it always gets completed, and the whole ends up looking impressive. So it’s really easy for me to feel good about myself whenever I get into sewing a cosplay.

As long as I’m feeling as down as I am (which is pretty darn low), I’m going to try to make time to sew the cosplay. I hope this will help lift up my mood.