When it comes to writing (although the arts, too), we may feel like there’s a clock ticking behind our heads as we struggle to “make it big.” I know personally, I’ve dealt with this. I always thought I was falling behind my peers, and never going to make it as the writer I envisioned myself as.

I started writing very early, and started taking it seriously at around age twelve when I wrote my first full-length play. I continued pumping out serious works as a teenager, and then after I graduated from college, wrote shows for my local branch of The Ohio State University. Although for a long time I thought I would end up being a playwright and composer, deep in my heart I knew I wanted to write books. I made the shift at age 27, enrolled in graduate school to write popular fiction, and completed my very first novel at age 30, when I got my MFA. I already thought my start in life as a fiction writer was too late by then, and I felt I had to scramble to get in the game.

I thought for certain my graduate thesis was ready to enter the publishing world. I’ve written about this before–I’m so grateful I stopped submitting to agents. The book wasn’t ready, even though I wanted to rush, rush, rush and be an AUTHOR.

Life got in the way. My mental health got in the way. My finances definitely got in the way. I fell into a deep depression and stopped writing, although the dream never went away. I needed to take the time to heal myself and get back on track before I could write another word. While blogging still happened (it’s a boost to my mental health), writing fiction stopped.

Then I moved to Japan to teach English as an ALT in high schools in Kumamoto prefecture. I was in probably the best place in my life at that point–I’d lost substantial weight and became more active; had a better diet; felt younger and more enthusiastic about life; made money to cover cost of living and travel; and had great mental health care. I started writing again, and that’s how Son of the Siren came about.

My goal was to get published before I’d turned forty, but that wasn’t realistic, even though I’d written the book in my thirties. I felt like I had to still be a “young” author if I wanted to be marketable…(youth and “pretty privilege” are a thing in publishing). But Son of the Siren wasn’t ready yet by a long shot, according to what felt like my 32,000 beta readers. I ended up rewriting it several times before submitting it to agents. And I got an agent and a publisher for it! If it would’ve happened at any other time than my 40th year, the book would not be as good, and I might have embarrassed myself publishing it in its previous states.

While I nabbed my agent and publisher at age 40, my book didn’t come out until just before my 41st birthday. For a brief flash in my brain, I thought, Isn’t that a bit old to just be starting out? But then hindsight and common sense saved the day. Once again, I have to be in the right mindset in order to be able to write, and be successful at it. If I’m in a rapid cycle between mania and depression, or in a long depressive episode, I hate to say it, but my writing will have problems. I don’t mean to sound like I’m trapped in magical thinking, but somehow, things fell into place when they did, which ended up being the right time.

Now, as I write, I don’t think about how old I am anymore. I just think about my books and how to share my stories with the world. I have my own voice and my own style, and there’s no one else out there like me, so there is no competition when it comes to writing and getting published. There’s no rush, either.

Heed the wise words of Meredith Ireland! We “get out” in our own time.

Things fell into place for me at what ended up being the right time. If I would’ve shot out work when I was younger, or faster than it needed to be, I would’ve regretted it. Going at a slower pace, and at a healthy pace, has ensured my writing is at its best, and that I’m at my most stable. Publishing can be a mentally topsy turvy world, so it’s always best to be on both feet as you ride it out.

If you are like Hook, and the crocodile’s ticking clock is chasing after you, consider that what will happen for you will happen in its own time. There is a place for you, writer. Just keep writing.