I miss cosplaying and wearing costumes a lot. The last time I got truly involved with costuming was back when I lived and worked in Japan. I wore elaborate Halloween costumes for lessons and in-school trick or treat; and then I went to the cosplay/otaku mecca known as Tokyo Big Sight for Anime Japan and tried to do my best cosplay ever.

Above are all my best cosplays I’ve ever done. At the top left was my first cosplay: Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist. The middle photo is when I dressed up as Jack Sparrow for Halloween at my Japanese high schools. On the right is my Bellatrix Lestrange costume for Halloween, once again at my high schools in Japan, and lastly, the big picture on the bottom is me dressed as a female version of Edmond Dantes in Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo. This was the costume I made and presented at Anime Japan in Tokyo.

Anyway…my last cosplay was in 2019!!!!! And cosplay is my hobby!

I’ve been hungering to do it since coming back to the USA, and I’ve been attending at least one convention a year, so there have been opportunities for me to wear cosplay again.

Problem is, I suffered from severe depression my last year in Japan and into two years (!!) of returning to America, and I gained approximately 7000 pounds or so. None of my old cosplays fit.

I decided that for Matsuricon 2025 that I would cosplay again, making a brand-new costume. I was still employed by North Central State College by that point, so I used up my last two paychecks buying materials to make….this guy.

This is Qi Rong, Xie Lian’s totally messed-up, obsessive cousin who happens to be one of the Four Great Calamities–the Night-Touring Green Lantern. This is from season two of the anime Heaven Official’s Blessing. I have also read the books, and everybody hates Qi Rong. He is absolutely nuts and over-the-top. But I love his character design in the anime so much. Here’s his complete look:

Over the course of the summer I started collecting the materials and accessories I would use to make this outfit. One of the first things I knew I needed was a green hanfu, and I ordered this from China right before the tariffs hit. Then I ordered all the stuff needed to decorate it, like the multicolored rainbow trim, the fur collar, tons of beading, etc. I even got the little baby skulls!

My costume wasn’t and isn’t meant to be 100% like the anime’s, though. I always make some minor changes for comfort and body shape. So I have Qi Rong’s outer robe but not the darker green pleated underskirt. I have black pants. I don’t have the green shoes, either–I went for generic black slippers.

I got everything I wanted to make the darn thing, and then…I lost motivation. Everything I got is in my room, unopened and unused (except for the hanfu). I haven’t even tried on the wig I got from Arda Wigs.

I think I got depressed again when I couldn’t get work for the summer. I ran out of money. I didn’t think I’d be able to afford Matsuricon 2025 so I only decided to go if they would select me as a panelist for Fanfic into Fiction (for which I was selected. I only went the day of the panel and did not cosplay). And my ticket and autograph spending money for the con was a gift.

The biggest thing was, I just didn’t like how I looked enough to want to cosplay. To be blunt, I am quite fat. The fattest I have ever been in my life. I am the weight of 2.5 healthy Kristinas. So even though I knew the costume itself was going to be beautiful, I felt ashamed to wear it, because I don’t feel beautiful at all.

But the swan song of cosplaying keeps calling me back, and I really miss it. It’s December now and my family has a group membership at a local health center and gym…I want to get in better shape. I will likely still be a big girl by the time Matsuricon 2026 rolls around, but I don’t want to look swollen or manatee-like. (Manatees are cute though!). I can still be plus-sized. I was in Japan, but I was quite healthy-looking. I’d like to get back to that point. It’s a lot of work to do in about 9 months but cosplay has always been the huge motivator that gets me working to get in shape. I’ve succeeded before, so I know it’s possible.

Matsuricon will be held September 24-26th, 2026. If I stay consistent with working to improve my health, I know that I’ll be happy to cosplay. At the same time, I’ll be sewing and sewing like a madwoman.

I hand-sew everything. I have trauma from trying to use sewing machines in the past and I hate them, even though they are supposed to make things easier. What I do instead is to buy pre-assembled pieces (like the hanfu and the turquoise blouse) and just add the details and decorations myself. These smaller pieces are what gets hand-sewn.

My proudest work so far has been the female Edmond Dantes at Tokyo Japan, but honestly, the Qi Rong costume might take the crown. I have everything down to the tiniest detail, even Qi Rong’s long green fingernails. The only thing I’ve been waiting on is to get colored contacts. I have a new prescription now but it’s just a financial thing for the moment. But here’s what they look like. Cool, huh? I’ve saved this link for almost a year and if these get sold out, I will cry.

Anyway…

I’m going to try to get motivated to sew again. I’m going to try to get motivated to get in better shape and improve my health again. Looking good in cosplay has always been the driving force for me losing weight, and I’ve been successful, so I know I have it within me to do it again. I’m hoping I don’t let myself down.