I’ve heard that once you complete an enormous project, especially one that means a lot to you, you can actually fall into a little bit of a depression.

According to writer Alaa Taha,

“Finishing a book is supposed to feel like a triumph. […] there is a moment of exhilaration, a breathless pause where you realize: I did it.

But then?

Then comes the emotional whiplash no one talks about. The drop. The quiet. The strange sadness. The panic. The grief. The hollowness that can follow such a massive accomplishment. […] while finishing a book is beautiful, it’s also emotionally complicated.

When I finished The Name and the Key, I felt so proud of myself. I planned on letting it sit for a few days, but I got back into it faster than I should have, and then read the whole novel on my Kindle. While the book was shorter than I expected it to be, I was shocked to find that most of it was pretty good. Even the trouble areas weren’t as bad as I thought they would be. I was ready to send it off to beta readers, so I did.

Then a slew of emotions hit me. First, fear. I’m still feeling it—I’m afraid of what the beta readers will say. When I submitted Son of the Siren for beta reading, I was so proud of my book and felt like it didn’t need that much work…until the beta readers ripped it apart. I spent almost a year revising it. It’s a great novel now, but it took a lot of work. I’m scared the same thing will happen to The Name and the Key—I feel so good about it, but the beta readers might bring me crashing down to earth.

Unlike Son of the Siren, I’m on a deadline. I contracted my trilogy with Oliver Heber Books, so I don’t really have a ton of time to revise. We’ve got a tight release schedule and I can’t overthink and over-edit like I did with Son of the Siren. So I tried to write the best first draft I possibly could with The Name and the Key.

Besides feeling fear and a sense of accomplishment, I feel sort of empty, like the book left a big hole. I’m trying to fill it with the next book. Maybe I shouldn’t jump in to The Step and the Walk so quickly, but I have this weird, nervous energy and a bit of a bereft feeling, where I feel like if I don’t start the next book soon, the hollowness in me will just get bigger.

Plus, there’s the timeframe issue. I started writing The Name and the Key on my own at a leisurely pace, with a lot of breaks…and then partially into writing it, I got the book deal for it. I worked hard on it, then took more breaks, which was to my detriment—I ended up overworking myself to complete it. It may or may not come across as rushed.

I started The Step and the Walk on Wednesday because not only do I want to feel writerly joy again, but…I don’t have that much time to write it. At least, nothing like what I’m used to. I chose the due dates for the books myself, and I gave myself seven months to write The Step and the Walk. This is because, according to my research, the trend these days is rapid release.

Now, I can’t release an entire trilogy in three months. I can’t even write one book in three months. But I didn’t want to take too long in between books…I don’t want to lose reader momentum. So, I created what could be a self-punishing schedule. I really hope I’m up to the task.

I plotted out about 75% of The Step and the Walk. It is written as a series of journal entries, from the point of view of the main male lead, Andresh. Already I stopped following my plot. I dove right in and started “journaling” as Andresh. And I wrote over 1800 words in one sitting…a huge milestone for me. And those words just seemed to flow right out!

Now all I want to do is work on that book, because the excitement from it is filling the void from finishing Book One. I don’t know how long I can keep the momentum up, but I love Andresh as a character, and he has quite the backstory to be shared. I think as long as I have a second book to work on, I won’t suffer so much from post-project depression. We’ll see!