Personal Growth & Reflection:

1. What are 3 things you’re most proud of accomplishing in the past year?
   
   Getting the audiobook made for Son of the Siren, getting a book deal for The Name and the Key Trilogy, and nabbing some podcast/video interviews for either teaching or writing.
   
   
2. What’s a skill you’d like to learn or improve upon?
   
   I think I need to work on my willpower/impulsivity. I do a lot of things to make myself feel better emotionally that end up having consequences despite that little burst of dopamine.
   
   
3. What’s a fear you’d like to conquer?
   
   I wish I could get over my fear of flying. Every year it gets worse. I keep thinking planes will crash or collide into each other; a bird will fly into a vulnerable spot; or the engine will just suddenly die. I hate takeoff and landing pretty equally, too. But I know that if I want to travel the world, I have to get on a plane. Sigh.
   
   
4. What’s a belief you’d like to challenge?
   
   That I’m too old to make new, better habits. I tend to feel stuck in my ways and I know I need to adhere to structure (which has always been hard for me), stop my unhealthy eating habits and sedentary living, and other stuff, too. I have difficulty forming new habits and I sometimes have this defeatist attitude where I’m like, “Am I too old to change?”
   
   
5. What’s a habit you’d like to cultivate?
   
   Ha! I didn’t mean to continue this topic but it looks like this is all going to flow together. Anyway, I’d like to get back into the habit of walking and hiking. I love hiking in the forest. It clears my mind and it’s beautiful. I hiked pretty frequently in Japan, plus everything was either steps or uphill, so I was in great shape over there. I’d like to resume this kind of exercise. You can make it as simple or as challenging as you need it to be, but it’s a great way to get in shape.
   
   
6. What’s a habit you’d like to break?
   
   Soda consumption. I have started and stopped and restarted with this for decades. While I mostly consume zero calorie/zero sugar soda, I still crave regular Mountain Dew and pick that up from time to time. I need to stop but can’t seem to bring myself to.
   
   
7. What’s a value that’s become more important to you recently?
   
   Kindness. There’s just so much cruelty and nastiness in the world, from individuals to our administration. It seems out of control. I want to be a kind person in a world that’s messed up like this.
   
   
8. What’s a lesson you learned the hard way?
   
   Always take your medications as prescribed. When I was in my twenties and just started out with a brand-new bipolar I diagnosis, I would stop taking meds because of weight gain or because I liked feeling manic. I made myself so sick from doing that, and I absolutely sparked some serious mood changes that were dangerous to myself and others. Even if you feel better, you need to stay on your meds until you clear it with your doctor.
   
   
9. What’s a lesson you learned the easy way?
   
   Pre-ordering is dangerous. Back when I was teaching I pre-ordered a bunch of stuff that would have been affordable had my contract been renewed, but I couldn’t get classes for the summer or fall semesters so…I have all of these pre-orders coming up and I don’t know how to pay for them. I’ve cancelled a significant amount of them, but my Good Smile Company orders explicitly say you aren’t allowed to cancel. The Q4 figurines are going to be coming due soon…
   
   
10. What’s a book that has significantly impacted your life?
    
    I was going to say Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier, as that was a formative work and the book that made me want to write novels. However, since reading The Reformatory by Tananarive Due in January of this year, I cannot get that book out of my mind. It’s a masterpiece. And I should also shout out Heaven Official’s Blessing by Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù (MXTX). I never got past Volume 4 because my emotions were going to explode, but this story is incredible and I want to write like this. I’m collecting the special edition hardcovers now so I expect to reread them and catch up to the unread books as soon as the collection is complete.
    
    
11. What’s a piece of advice you’d give to your younger self?
    
    Age 16 self — talk to a psychiatrist right away. (I think I showed symptoms of bipolar this early).
    
    
12. What’s something you’ve been putting off that you should finally do?
    
    I have been collecting special edition books and I’ve piled them up next to the bookshelf in my room. They need to go downstairs on the shelves I designated for special editions, but I need to shelve them based on size, and I’m too lazy to presort them before going downstairs. However, I might surprise myself and take care of this sooner than later.
    
    
13. What’s a dream you’re still pursuing?
    
    Gainful employment that allows me to live comfortably but doesn’t give me panic attacks or make me physically ill. Specifically I’m looking for a part time remote job that pays well, whether it’s more online teaching or writing or other stuff. It has to be part time to allow me to write my books.
    
    
14. What’s a new dream you’d like to set for yourself?
    
    I know I mentioned I need a part-time job for my health and my ability to keep writing, but…what if I could write full time and support myself that way? That’s a dream I’d like to fulfill.
    
    
15. What’s one thing you can do today to make yourself happier?
    
    Later today I’m going to sit down and eat a piece of vanilla cake with vanilla frosting from the local bakery. I love cake so this will make me happy.

Relationships & Connections:

1. Who are 3 people you’re grateful to have in your life?
   
   In no particular order, my mother, my brother, and my sister. Our core family unit means so much to me.
   
   
2. How can you strengthen your connection with a loved one?
   
   I could probably work harder to not say stupid/impulsive/ill-informed things.
   
   
3. What’s a quality you admire in someone else?
   
   Kindness.
   
   
4. What’s a quality you appreciate in yourself?
   
   As lazy as I am, I do work really hard for certain things, and I think that part of me I appreciate.
   
   
5. What’s a way you can be more present for the people you care about?
   
   I could probably spent less time scrolling social media or staring at my smartphone!
   
   
6. What’s a fun activity you’d like to do with a friend or family member?
   
   I want to go back to Kamishikimi Kumanoimasu Shrine in Takamori, Kumamoto, and take everyone I know there. It’s a beautiful, mystical unmanned shrine. When family visited me, I took them to Takachiho, not realizing this shrine was close by. Missed opportunity!
   
   
7. What’s a conflict you’d like to resolve?
   
   Israel and Palestine. I wish for Palestine to be recognized officially, and to thrive as a country, and for its people not to die or starve.
   
   
8. What’s a new connection you’d like to make?
   
   I would love to make friends with more authors, but I’m pretty shy about reaching out.

Experiences & Adventures:

1. What’s a place you’d love to travel to?
   
   Besides desperately wanting to go back to Japan, I’d like to visit Germany. My Dad and grandparents and his side of the family came from Germany. I’d like to see Osnabrück, his original home, and then do touristy things in Berlin and other places as well. I also wouldn’t mind going back to Wales or France.
   
   
2. What’s an adventure you’d like to have?
   
   I want to go “glamping” at Kosugi Resort in Aso, return to Kurokawa Onsen and actually bathe in the onsen (although I would try to do it privately, as I’m super self-conscious about my body), visit the Sapporo Snow Festival in Hokkaido, and go hiking in Aso-Kuju National Park. All of these are in Japan, by the way, and although I lived there six years, I did not do these things.
   
   
3. What’s a new food you’d like to try?
   
   I wouldn’t mind trying a new kind of ramen. I was very particular in Japan and only had shoyu (soy sauce) ramen or tonkotsu (pork bone broth) ramen. I can’t eat anything spicy, though.
   
   
4. What’s a new experience you’d like to have?
   
   I would like to rent a place to stay in Yellow Springs for a long weekend, like a three-day weekend, and enjoy the local downtown (which I have been to) and check out all of their state parks for hiking (which I’ve never done before).
   
   
5. What’s a song that makes you feel good?
   
   I think the entire K-POP DEMON HUNTERS soundtrack is busy making me smile.
   
   
6. What’s a movie that always makes you laugh?
   
   I don’t laugh out loud at movies very often but I think I get the biggest kick out of EUROVISION: THE STORY OF FIRE SAGA. This is Will Ferrell’s best movie and it’s full of humor, heart, and great music. I think I’ll always giggle at the guy who screams, “PLAY JA JA DING DONG!”
   
   
7. What’s a hobby you’d like to explore?
   
   I’d like to get back into cosplaying. The last time I did was in 2019 for Anime Japan in Tokyo. I was going to cosplay for Matsuricon 2025 and purchased all the materials I needed to make the costume, but I just sat on my butt, overwhelmed by all the writing stuff I signed up for. Plus, I don’t think I can afford to go to the convention anymore. I submitted a panel that’s still pending approval. If they pick it, I’ll go to present it, but if not, I won’t go at all. But someday I’m going to do my Qi Rong cosplay, dammit!
   
   
8. What’s a place you’ve never been but always wanted to visit?
   
   The Palace of Versailles.
   
   
9. What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn how to do?
   
   Something with math that could make me lots of money. Alas, I absolutely suck at math.

Looking Ahead:

1. What are your goals for the next year?
   
   I hope to complete books Two and Three of my trilogy in an exceptionally timely fashion and to reach readers who will be interested in the trilogy. Son of the Siren was not for everyone so I’d like my trilogy to have a wider appeal.
   
   
2. What are your long-term goals?
   
   Make enough money to live comfortably. I’d like to pay bills, buy books and figurines and clothes, make enough for healthcare and paying towards student loans. I do not think this is a realistic goal with the way things have gone in my life so far.
   
   
3. What do you want your legacy to be?
   
   I’d like to be known for being kind and for being a great writer.
   
   
4. What are you most excited about for the future?
   
   I cannot wait to see what covers Oliver Heber Books will come up with for my trilogy!
   
   
5. What are you most grateful for?
   
   My family and friends.
   
   
6. What’s your favorite thing about getting older?
   
   While I still have issues with people-pleasing and trying to receive validation, I can say that the older I get, the less I’m starting to care.
   
   
7. What’s your favorite thing about being 42?
   
   That it’s the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
   
   
8. What’s one thing you can do to make the world a better place?
   
   Donate to causes that are good and go directly into the hands of those who need it.
   
   
9. What’s your biggest hope for the future?
   
   That I can support myself through writing and part-time teaching.
   
   
10. What’s one thing you want to remember most about today?
    
    That the cake Mom got us tastes really freaking good.